All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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