somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown a few things in my day
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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