How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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