He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize