I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize