Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize