do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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