im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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