she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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