Your face is a jimmy john
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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