We're like a lot better than the average bears
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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