So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think your dad took our porno
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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