I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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