Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize