Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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