We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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