Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize