He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
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I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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