well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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