Cold hands, warm shart.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They took my balls.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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