If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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