he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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