There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize