My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize