I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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