You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize