I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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