Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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