so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
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You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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