Screwed.edu
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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