My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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