I just threw up on my dentist
accomplished twins. life is a go
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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