I'm gonna have a badass scar
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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