Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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