btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
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I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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