Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize