If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize