Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
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If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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