Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize