I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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