i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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