I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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