the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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