weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize