Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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