The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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