But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
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the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
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Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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