wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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