Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize