fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize